Deranged Alt Endings
by My Name Here
Summary: Updated! Intended to be a oneshot but since I got reviews I decided to add another chapter. This time I redid the existing endings and giving Konami a reason not to hire me.
1. Alt Endings

Disclaimy Thingy: If you think I won Silent Hill then you're dumber than you look.

None of these endings are real. You can attempt them if you want but it's not gonna work and/or will probably kill your character. But that depends on which one you pick.

Silent Hill 1 endings.

James Ending

This ending ends the game early so make sure you really wanna do this. When you chase Cheryl make sure you catch her. (This is hard to do). She will follow you around for a while. Right before you fight the little demon thingies you will find Alessa standing around some where. Talk to her and Harry will say something about cheesecake. After that Alessa and Harry will grab Cheryl and toss her over a nearby building for no apparent reason. The camera will cut to James Sunderland walking down the street. Cheryl flies over the building and runs into him. And James, being the einstein that he is, mistakes Cheryl for a small mannequin monster and kills her.

Store Clerk Ending

Same way you get the James ending. Except this time don't talk to Alessa. Just ignore her. The little demons come to kill Harry and Cheryl starts screaming in a demonic voice. Cheryl holds Harry down as the demon dudes start to kill Harry. The screen fades into showing Harry wearing a wife beater, boxers, and a smock with his nametag on it. He's curled up in a fetal position on a linolium floor. The camera zooms out to show him in a toy store, surrounded by ripped up stuffed animals and a bunch of customers who are watching his strange behavior. The screen blacks out as credits roll on one side of the screen. The other side shows Dahlia and Kaufman doing a happy dance.

Silent Hill 2 endings.

New Love Ending

In the hospital when you find Laura and she starts to follow you don't go down the hallway. Instead, go back into the room where you found her and take the teddy bear she was playing with. Then you either shoot her or use Angela's knife on her and kill her. Save the toy for when you're in the Labyrinth. When you get there look for the last place you see Pyramid Head before the boss fight against him. Walk up to him and before he stabs you use the teddy bear. It will show a cutscene of Pyramid Head dropping his spear and taking the toy from James. The camera goes blank and music plays then fades into James in a room. He wakes up hungover and looks around and sees the Pyramid dude walk into the room. James gathers the clues and relizes what he did. He screams as the screen goes to black again and Barry White music plays while the credits roll.

Revenge Ending

During the fight with the Mary demon, shoot it enough till it's on the ground and saying "James" over and over, don't kill it. Just walk over to the bed and press X. James will lay on the bed and doze off. Then a cutscene will appear of the room where you usually see Mary in the bed and talking to James. But this time it's just James laying in the bed, the camera will go to Jame's POV and the screen will be blurry cause he just woke up. A figure appears that looks like Mary holding something white. James says something along the lines of "good morning". Then the picture sharpens to see Mary holding a pillow right when she pushes it over his face, killing him. Screen goes black and you hear Laura singing the Silent Hill song.

Silent Hill 3 Endings

Wuss Ending

You need the game on the hardest action setting possible for this. In the office building don't do the "flames purify all" thing. Just go straight down to the first floor and walk up to the monster that's blocking the hallway. Swing at it with your pipe for a while till it gets pissed off and tries to attack. Avoid the attacks and walk up to it and press X. Heather will move part of it to the side and go through. You can't go through any doors on this side of the monster. Look around for a bullhorn. Grab it. Go back the way you came. (yes you can). Go though the rest of the game like you usually do till you get to the church. This time instead of using the pendant use the seal of metatron. Heather will "attempt" to swollow it. (You don't have to use the seal. You can use any item except the bullhorn and pendant. It only affects what the fetus looks like.) After that nothing will happen for now. Just shoot Claudia with the shotgun and then the whole "Claudia gets sucked down the hole thing will happen". When the boss fight starts go up to the god while it's standing up and use the bullhorn. Heather will start saying mean things to it. (this ending isn't for those with virgin ears cause she says the F word about 200 times.) Eventualy the god thingy will start crying and crawl away into the opening that Heather usually leaves in after the fight. She then starts chasing it with her katana. Credits roll as a blocky 8 bit of Heather chasing the god with a sword appears and heavy metal music plays.

Vincent Ending

Same as above but don't grab the bullhorn. Just go past the monster and back. In the church level don't eat the pendant. Eat the heart princess outfit and beam sword. (you might wanna combine them for this to work) Vincent will come back to life without a scratch on him. He smiles and starts doing a striptease. This game is rated M for more reasons than violence ya know! When it's over Vincent is standing naked and looking at Heather and Claudia who are blushing. Vincent grabs his clothes and leaves. Heather forgets why she was there and leaves the church. Credits roll with a picture of Vincent in the background.

Silent Hill 4 Endings

Health Drink Ending

Go through the game without using ANY health items and using your apartment to heal yourself. Don't get rid of any ghosts in the apartment. (Yes, even the one that comes through the wall. Just learn to avoid him.) Do this without dying once and on hard level. Right before the fight with Walter when he's talking to Henry, he will just try to walk away. BIG mistake. Henry attacks Walter and starts beating him senseless with a health drink. This is still a cutscene btw. Eventualy Walter dies from choking on a bunch of health drinks that were shoved down his throat. Henry and Eileen walk away holding hands and having a conversation about what's in health drinks.

Evil Handbag Ending

When you find Eileen's handbag go back to the apartment without finding Eileen. Keep doing this till the victim tries to come though the apartment wall. Walk up to him while he's still in the wall and use the handbag. He scoops up some of the wall goop in the hand bag as Henry "politely" asks him to take it to Eileen without noticing what the ghost dude did. Then the camera shows Eileen in the hospital, sitting on the bed where you're supposed to find her. The same black spot on the wall appears but instead of a ghost the handbag flies out of it and hit's Eileen, knocking her out. (hey! That bag can kill monsters, imagine a non-monster getting hit with it!) The handbag starts twitching Silent Hill 3 style and scootches over to Eileen and starts chompin down on her head. Henry is set free cause all Walter wanted was to kill that annoying NPC. The whole "sacraments" thing was an excuse to do it too. Credits roll but instead of the music you just hear noisy and gross munching sounds.

A/N: I think my fics make Samael cry. Oh well. See ya! R&R please!


	2. Madness ReWritten!

I meant for this to be a one-shot but I got a buncha reviews so I decided to make another chapter. :) It might have italics and bold this time cause I've been (slowly) learning HTML. This time I decided to take existing endings and re-write them a little. Meh, I've ranted enough. Better start writing soon or my computer will self destruct 5 min ago! 

Disclaimer Thingy: I don't own anything. I don't even work for Konami, if I did then this fic is a good enough reason to fire me.

This is probably gonna be a 2 part thing so if I only have SH 1 & 2 endings then don't worry, 3 & 4 will be my next victims ...chapters.

**Silent Hill 1 Endings**

**Good Ending  
**Dahlia explains to Harry about how he was seeing his own daughter and how she has been ordering pizza after pizza after pizza and charging it all on his credit card. Harry then notices how his wallet has been missing since he woke up from the car crash and how Cheryl can be a lying sneaky little sack of... nevermind. Anyway Kauffman shows up and starts yelling about how his wallet is gone too and blames Dahlia for using Cheryl/Alessa to steal money for her and shoots her. Now in a blind rage caused by identity theft he whips the Aglaophaotis at Cheryl and accidently makes Samael pop out of her. This scares Kauffman and a wet spot shows up on his pants. Harry fights Samael for his wallet and when the fights over Alessa shows up and gives Harry the baby and later learns that his wallet is in a toilet somewhere in the apartment buildings. Not knowing or caring how it got there he leaves with the baby and Cybil. Meanwhile a very drunk Lisa zombie drags Kauffman kicking and screaming into hell where they will forever have to endure the hair music of the 80's and smell like hairspray!

**Bad Ending  
**Dahlia explains about Alessa/Cheryl and starts ranting about how the place could use some redecorating and this goes on into different subjects that have nothing to do with Silent Hill. Harry then has to fight Alessa and after he beats her then she starts talking in Cheryl's voice and says "You always were a thick-headed bunghole". The room starts to collapse and Cyble smacks Harry and tells him to go. Harry gets mad and they start slapping each other stupid. Eventualy Cybil literally slaps him to death and it cuts to him dying in his jeep while repeating "Have you seen a little girl? Short brown hair. Just turned..." Then he dies and it's all sad and everything.

**Silent Hill 2 Endings**

**Dog Ending  
**Use the dog key and once James goes in the room you will hear death metal music playing. The dog will be at the controls headbanging to the music as it's controling everything. And having fun doing it. The dog turns around and looks at James. James says something in japanese. The dog walks up to him and sniffs him then runs back to the controls and pushes a button. Two Pyramid Heads come into the room and grab James and drag him out of the room and down the hall. The go around the corner as the screen fades with the dog barking to the music that's playing in the room. In the background James will be screaming and yelling things like "That doesn't bend that way!" or "What are shoving in there?". When the credit end the dog will start growling/laughing like a maniac.

**Water Ending  
**You hear James talking about why he is in this town. Then you will hear tires screeching and James screaming about how Laura hates him and how it must've been here who cut his brakes. Mary reads her letter thingy as it shows Jame's car sinking. Turns out James was wrong about Laura, cause instead of the last line being like the other endings it's "That'll teach ya to kill me you bastard!" still in Mary's voice.

**Leave Ending  
**Mary reads the letter as usual. Then it shows James and Laura walking through the graveyard. After about halfway across Laura stops to get something from behind one of the gravestones that's hidden from the camera and apparently James. She waits for James to catch up to her and she attacks him with part of a broken gravestone. She starts screaming about him killing Mary, who knew Laura had such an umm... adult vocabulary. After beating James stupid for a while she finaly decides he's dead. The two Pyramid Heads show up, Laura steals James's wallet and the three start to walk away when James gains conciousness and says "Ya know, I found that in a toilet.". Laura screams and drops the wallet as the three run back over to James. The Pyramid heads start beating him with their spears and Laura steals James's _**WOODEN PLANK OF DOOM**_. After a few min of this and James screaming like a little girl they walk away, one Pyramid Head dragging James and the other one and Laura are carrying his weapons. (Including chainsaw).

**Maria Ending  
**Talk to Mary when she's sitting on the bed. The conversation is calm at first but they start argueing. James has a sudden out of body experiance as Mary starts to transform, he relizes he's in a game and sees what's coming. Half way through the transformation he grabs her, drags her over to the window and chucks her out the window. By now she finished transforming and flies up to the window and starts screaming various 4 letter words at James. He gets scared and starts screaming like an effeminate wuss and running in circles. After a few min of this he fights Mary and kills her. The screen fades to him in Rosewater Park whiping rocks at any monsters below the railing and laughing like an idiot. Maria walks up to him and they talk. After a while of sentamentalism they smooch. While he's smoochin her he chucks her over the railing and down to the monsters. Commence Maria screaming and James laughing like an idiot. They walk to the car, James still giggling and Maria's all cut and bruised. When they get there Maria kills James with the cleaver and stuffs him in the trunk along with Mary's body. She drives off and lives happily ever after.

**Rebirth Ending  
**James tries to paddle out to the island but sinks the boat with his chainsaw while screaming about monsters but he was really just trying to kill a fly. It sinks, he swims back, gets another boat, sinks it again. 5-6 boats later he manages to finally paddle out to the island. He tries to do the ritual, calling the god of Happy Burger. This ends badly. A burger appears and Heather shows up for no reason whatsoever except to get her Happy Burger back. After a boss fight against Heather and a monster burger, James tries again. This time he gets it right but nothing happens. He shrugs and goes to walk away but everything freezes in place, including him. An error message appears on the screen in blood and James starts cussing like crazy about file corruption and yelling at the player to clean the game more often. Credits roll but instead of the music you just hear James angrily reciting every "mature" word he knows. If you count them it's around 45-50 cuss words/adult phrases.

**A/N:** Umm... If you find it offensive that it was Harry's wallet that James finds in the Blue Creek Apartments then... umm... ack! Forgot what I was gonna say. Oh well, R&R Pleeze:)


End file.
